High-Masking AuDHD

Why Traditional ADHD Strategies Fail for Autistic ADHDers?

✨ If you’ve ever felt like your brain is a constant tug-of-war between a need for chaotic novelty and a desperate craving for rigid routine, you likely know the unique exhaustion of being AuDHD (Autistic + ADHD).

For the high-masking individual, the struggle is often invisible. You might appear "successful" or "together" on the outside, but the internal cost is immense. Perhaps the most frustrating part? The very strategies designed to help ADHDers—like "just use a planner" or "try body doubling"—often backfire, leading to deeper burnout and a sense of personal failure.

Here is why the standard ADHD toolkit often fails the AuDHD brain, and what actually works instead.

The Paradox of "The Planner"

The ADHD Strategy: Use a digital or paper planner to externalize time. The AuDHD Reality: For an Autistic person, a planner isn't just a tool; it’s a commitment. If the ADHD side of the brain forgets to check the planner or changes the plan mid-day, the Autistic side can experience a rigidity crisis. The "failure" to follow the schedule feels like a moral failing or a sensory disruption, leading to a "shutdown" rather than a simple pivot.

The Danger of "Body Doubling"

The ADHD Strategy: Work in the presence of others to stay on task. The AuDHD Reality: High-masking Autistics are hyper-aware of social presence. While "body doubling" helps some focus, for an AuDHDer, it often triggers The Performance Filter. You spend more energy monitoring your posture, facial expressions, and "seeming productive" than actually doing the work. Instead of focus, you get social exhaustion.

The "Novelty vs. Same-ness" Conflict

The ADHD Strategy: Gamify tasks and seek dopamine through variety. The AuDHD Reality: While the ADHD side loves a new app or a new workspace, the Autistic side relies on environmental predictability to feel safe. Constantly changing your "system" to satisfy ADHD boredom can trigger Autistic nervous system dysregulation. You end up in a cycle of "Seeking" (ADHD) and "Overwhelmed by Change" (Autism).

Why "Standard" Advice Often Leads to Burnout

Most ADHD coaching focuses on Executive Function. But for the AuDHDer, the primary issue is often Nervous System Regulation.

When you try to "power through" an ADHD task using standard hacks, you may inadvertently trigger an Autistic sensory overload or a demand-avoidance response (PDA). Traditional strategies often ignore:
🔹 Sensory Profiles: A "fun" co-working space might be too loud for your Autistic ears.
🔹 Monotropism: ADHDers switch tasks; Autistics deep-dive. Trying to "switch" every 25 minutes (Pomodoro) can be physically painful for an Autistic brain in "flow."
🔹 The Masking Tax: The energy spent pretending to be "normal" leaves zero "spoons" left for actually using the strategy.

A New Approach: The AuDHD Synergy

To thrive, we have to stop treating the ADHD and Autism as separate entities. They are a single, braided neurotype.

🔹 Instead of Rigid Scheduling - Try Flow-Based Anchors: Pick 2 "non-negotiables" and leave the rest to "vibes."
🔹 Instead of Social Body Doubling - Try Virtual/Silent Doubling: Use "camera-off" sessions to avoid the masking tax.
🔹 Instead of Forced Variety - Try The "Same-But-Different" Rule: Keep your environment stable, but change your sensory input (music, lighting).

The Bottom Line: You are not broken because "proven" ADHD strategies don't work for you. You are likely just using a map for a different landscape. When you honor your Autistic need for safety and your ADHD need for stimulation simultaneously, the tug-of-war finally stops.

Ready to build a toolkit that actually fits?

If you're tired of "one-size-fits-all" coaching that ignores your Autistic side, I can help you design a lifestyle that respects both halves of your AuDHD brain.